


Blue

by Im_still_waiting_for_the_rain_to_fall



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Genderswap, Happy Ending, Identity Reveal, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2020-01-31 09:57:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18588904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Im_still_waiting_for_the_rain_to_fall/pseuds/Im_still_waiting_for_the_rain_to_fall
Summary: (Set somewhere in Season 4. Alex is mind-wiped and James & Lena are broken up, but James hasn't been shot)A problem with an experiment at L-corp leaves Lena and James body-swapped for 24 hours.They only have to make it through one day at each others jobs. Simple, right?Not so much when James finds himself blurting out Kara's name while she is wearing Supergirl's clothes, and he is wearing Lena's body.Believing Lena has discovered her secret, and is not happy about it, Kara cannot talk to Alex so instead goes to James - who just happens to be Lena.Genderswap and Identity revealEventual Kara/Lena





	1. 1 - The Swap

This....

This is.....

Ridiculous. 

Having faced down attempted coups, Lillian's constant disappointments, and multiple failed assassinations, Lena has gone through more than her fair share of high pressured situations, yet none of them, not a single one, have in any way remotely prepared her for THIS. 

Unable to prevent the chuckle that bubbles out of her throat as the image of her mother seeing her only daughter like this pops into her head, Lena hears the slightly hysterical note in her voice even as she registers how not her voice it is. 

What would Lillian say? 

Naturally, she would make some quip about Lena needing to upgrade the safety protocols in L-Corps labs, seeing as the leak wasn't detected until too late and both she and James had been 'infected', but most likely she would smirk at her and say something along the lines of “Well, it looks like I have TWO bald sons now”. 

Another burst of laughter escapes at that, in the warm husky drawl that Lena had become accustomed to during her time dating the attractive photographer and, as she stands in front of the mirror, staring at HIS visage while wearing HIS body, Lena finds some small comfort in the knowledge that out of all the men that she could have be unfortunate enough to have been stuck swapping bodies with, it just happened to be the one ex she has managed to maintain a friendship with. 

****

“Lena, what the hell are we going to do?”

Does my face really do that scrunchy thing when I look panicked? Staring into her own visage, Lena can't help thinking and my voice gets kind of squeaky instead of answering the question James had just asked. 

“Lena!”

Shaking off her musings, the distracted woman tries to focus, which she is finding exceedingly difficult to do when she is basically staring at herself flail in a way she she has never allowed herself to before. “James, the first thing you need to do is calm down”. 

“Calm down? How the hell am I meant to calm down while I'm stuck inside your body, Lena?”

Pacing the room in bare feet (Lena had ordered him to take her heels off when she'd noticed he kept tripping over in them on the understanding that she didn't want to get her body back with a sprained ankle) James runs his hand across his head, only to find his fingers getting tangled in her hair. 

Finding the display equal parts amusing and exasperating, knowing that her body was going to take a battering during it time under his control, the more together woman cant help quipping. “I seem to remember a time you quite enjoyed being inside my body”. 

Jaw dropping in shock, James stares at her with incredulous eyes. “How can you be making jokes at a time like this?”

“Because levity is better than panic, and if we are to reverse the effects of what has been done to us we need clear heads, not ones filled with worry and confusion”. 

Meeting his gaze coolly, Lena knows that despite her own internal freakout about the situation she needs to maintain her air of calm rationality for James' sake. Clearly having more trouble coming to terms with the fact that he is now, for all intents a purposes, a woman (he can thank societies pervasive sexism and macho bullshit that teaches children that being a woman is inferior to a guy) than Lena is with being a guy, she knows she will need to give him some time to adjust. 

“What exactly HAS been done to us, Lena? What caused this?”

Sighing heavily, Lena rubs her forehead, absently noting the different texture of skin under her fingers, and moves over to the cabinet where she stores a bottle of scotch. Having been able to retreat to her office after their 'switch', the pair have been hiding out for the past half an hour while trying to process just what had happened.

Pouring two generous glasses, Lena hands one to James while taking a large gulp of her own. She then sits down at her desk and starts typing on her computer, bringing up the CCTV from the lab they had been in when everything had occurred. Transferring the footage onto the TV screen once she has found the correct section, the pair watch in silence for a few moments as Lena's employees bustle about busy with their day.

“The lab we were in is working on gender reassignment techniques.” Speaking quietly but assuredly, Lena gives James background information as they continue to stare at the screen. “Specifically, they are trying to find non invasive ways to help trans people get the body they deserve and should have been born with”. 

“Lena that's.....That's HUGE”. Though staring at his own face is still hugely disconcerting, James is able to show how touched he is by the work Lena is spearheading.

“It will be when we get it right”. Indicating between them, Lena lifts an eyebrow wryly. “Clearly it's still a work in progress”. 

Turning back to the screen they watch the rest of the staff filter out as five o'clock hits, and then Lena hits pause when she spots what she thinks is the cause of their current predicament.

Rewinding the footage slightly, she points out the culprit; a harried looking older man, to James, and they watch in silence as, instead of returning the sample of whatever he was working on to the safe like the rest of the scientists do at the end of his shift, he instead locks it in the drawer of his desk and rushes out. 

“Of all the idiotic....” Sighing, knowing that she is going to have to fire the man for such a serious breach of their Health & Safety protocols, Lena feels no joy in the knowledge that he has brought unemployment on himself through his own incompetence. 

“What was that blue stuff he put in his desk?” 

Looking between the screen and Lena, James sees the hesitant look come over her/his face. 

“Lena?”

“It was-” taking a deep breath, knowing the reaction she is likely to get, she grits her teeth as she says it “-blue Kryptonite”

“WHAT?”

Out of his seat at once, Lena watches as James leaps to his feet, anger taking over his features, and ruefully she thinks she can finally understand why her employees scurry away from her so fast when she is in one of her black moods. 

“Lena, you KNOW how dangerous Kryptonite is! To Superman, to Supergirl. Why would you make it, again?”

“I do know how dangerous it is, which is why I made sure the version I created does nothing to Kryptonians”. Lifting her chin defiantly, Lena meets her own fiery green eyes calmly. 

“How can you be sure?” Still agitated, James paces up and down her office, though the restriction of the skirt he is wearing forces him to take shorter strides than he would like. “The different ways various types of Kryptonite can affects Kryptonians is not always apparent at first, like with red K, and can have more of a slow build effect”. 

“Which is why I spoke to Supergirl about it before using it in any of my trials, and spent six months studying an infected sample of her blood under a microscope to see if it had any type of long term effect on her”. 

“You what?” Caught out by that unexpected piece of information, James halts in his pacing and turns to looks at her. 

“Supergirl and I are in a good place again, I wasn't about to screw that up”. 

Feeling uneasy now that they are on a subject closer to home, a subject involving her feelings, Lena wishes she was in her own body as she knows how to control her own reactions behind the walls there. Instead, she tries to ignore the way her mouth goes dry at the memory of how soft the smile had been on Supergirl's lips when she'd realized that Lena had been asking for her permission to do something involving Kryptonite before doing it, or the way she'd clasped Lena's hand between both of her own when she'd said that she trusted her with her life. 

“Alex brought me a vial of Supergirl's blood, I didn't ask how she got it but I assume during one of the times she was injured fighting one of the many big bads our fair city seems to attract, and I exposed it to the blue Kryptonite”. 

“What happened?” Intrigued despite his own reservations, James can't help asking. 

“Nothing”. Shrugging her shoulder, Lena finishes her drink. “I studied that sample every single day for six months, and the Kryptonite remained inert. It didn't bond or react with her blood in any way, and at the end of the six months when I sent in my nanobots to remove them, there was absolutely no trace after that they had ever been there”. 

“Wow”. Slightly stunned by Lena's thoroughness, James feels a bit shamefaced for his earlier reaction and sits back down in his seat sheepishly. “But if it did nothing, then how was it going to help with gender reassignment?”

“Ah!” Lighting up now that she has been asked something scientific, Lena clicks some buttons on the tablet next to her and brings up the research for the project. “See, I made sure it was inert for Kryptonians, but for humans it's very much active!” 

The screen is filled with a host of calculations and scientific equations, all of which looks like babble to James, and the only thing he can read is the projects title. 

It's called Project Butterfly?”

Flushing slightly, Lena rubs the back of her neck self-consciously. “I thought it was appropriate. Trans people often see themselves as in the wrong body, so to me they are the caterpillar. With my work here I want to give them the chance to turn into the beautiful person, the butterfly, they already are on the inside; without having to undergo all the painful and expensive medical procedures that normally form part of that process”. 

“How is it meant to work?”

Taking the tablet back, Lena clicks a couple of buttons and the screen morphs into a simulation. As they watch, Lena describes what is happening. “So, essentially the blue Kryptonite is a kind of Yin and Yang element. What was light it turns dark, dark to light, male to female, that type of thing. We've managed to change the DNA of several animal species with it so far, all successfully, and had no reported side effects”. 

As they watch, the image on the screen morphs from a male rat to a female, and then flicks through a montage of different animals; rabbit, cat, dog, and monkey.

“What about human trials?” 

Gritting her teeth as the image of all the deaths her Harun'el trials caused flashes into mind, Lena feels her throat close up, and she has to swallow heavily before she can answer. “No. It's far too soon for that. I want to be a hundred per cent sure it's safe before trials start”. 

“Well, I think that horse just bolted”. 

Hearing the dry chuckle come from her own throat, Lena glances across to see James looking at her with an expression of wry amusement on his face. 

Glad that he managed to pull her out of he her maudlin thoughts, Lena gives him a small rueful laugh in return. “Yeah, I guess that's true. But now I'm wondering if all our experiments were successful in gender reassignment or just body swapping”. 

“Do you think that's what caused us to do....this?” Flapping his hands up and down his body, James indicates his 'Lena' outsides.

“I have a theory about that”. Pressing fast forward on the TV screen, she moves the footage on to where the pair of them enter the lab. Pressing play when they arrive, a little after nine pm, they watch themselves converse, heatedly, as Lena narrates. “So, by this time the sample of blue Kryptonite in the drawer has had about four hours to permeate the air, which means we were contaminated the second we walked in the room”. 

Despite the situation, Lena had still had the presence of mind to make James and herself go through the decontamination procedure upon leaving the lab, and had sent in her nanobots to scrub the entire area clean. 

Watching the screen now, remembering that James had only followed her down to the lab as he'd wanted to continue their argument, Lena sighs. “I'm sorry you got caught up in yet another L-corp experiment gone wrong, James, but I did ask you to leave before we got to the lab”. 

“Trust me, no one's more sorry than I am right now”. Looking contrite, James offers her a small smile. “No hard feelings?” 

“As long as you don't accuse me of attempting to hit on your sister again, no”. 

“You really didn't?” 

There is still a hint of disbelief in his tone, and Lena knows that despite everything his insecurities about her bisexuality still plague him. 

“Lets get back to the matter at hand, hmm?” Choosing to ignore him rather get into the same circling argument that has played a part in their eventual breakup, Lena turns back to the tablet. “My intent with the Kryptonite was to flip a persons DNA, change it from male to female or vice versa, in order to allow trans people to access the body they want. The tests we did showed this to be successful, but we were testing on animals. We had no way to know if we were actually switching consciousnesses instead”. 

“So all your experiments might just have been mind swaps?”

“Possibly, yes”. Feeling incredibly disheartened at the thought that the breakthrough she'd thought she was nearing might actually be a complete falsehood, Lena longs for another drink. “I'd need to comb through every piece of data to be sure, find out whether the tests were conducted on individuals or batches, and if different genders were kept near enough to each other for any mix ups to be written off ass them being placed in the wrong cage”. 

“So how do we get back into our bodies? Do we just go back down and inhale that stuff again?” Hopeful expression on his face, James looks ready to leap out of his seat and run down the thirty odd floors to reach the lab.

“Unfortunately it won't be that easy, at least not tonight”. Grimacing at the crestfallen look her words produce, Lena can't help feeling disappointed too. “I set my nanobots to work the moment we left the lab, which means its probably already scrubbed clear of any trace of blue Kryptonite and therefore will do no good at turning us back to ourselves”.

“DAMMIT LENA!!” 

Jumping to his feet once more, James bellows in frustration as he stomps his way across the room.

More than used to temperamental men throwing hissy fits, it is however the first time Lena has been able to witness herself have one. She finds that she doesn't care for the way her face goes slightly splotchy as her blood races, but seeing her eyes glow a dark iridescent green is a most captivating sight. 

“The thought of remaining like this for longer than absolutely necessary is not exactly thrilling me right now either, James, but at the time we had no idea what caused this, so my priority was the safety of everyone in this building, and the city. I couldn't afford for whatever it was to leak out and contaminate anyone else, so the only recourse was for me to scrub the room”.

Standing up, Lena walks over to her purse and retrieves her phone, then sighs when it asks her to unlock it with her thumb print. Muttering under her breath about stupid biometric security protocols, she holds the device out to James. 

“Thumb please”. 

Still disgruntled, James nonetheless does as asked and places his thumb on the pad, unlocking the phone for her. “How soon can you switch us back?”

“That's what I'm about to find out”. Hitting dial on one of the preset numbers, it connects swiftly. “Brainy, it's L..yes, yes it James”. Shaking her head at the inquisitive look James is giving her out of the corner of her eye, she tries to concentrate on the phone call. “Lena's fine, she's with me now, but we actually need your help on something rather important, that's the reason I'm calling. How quickly can you get to L-corp? Okay, great. See you then”. 

****

“No!”

Staring at Lena as if she's just sprouted a second head, James looks aghast at her suggestion.

“It's one day”. 

“Lena, what you're asking is...is...impossible!” Shaking his head adamantly, James refuses to entertain the idea as it is too preposterous to even consider. 

“Come on, you run Catco without breaking a sweat, this is just the same”. Attempting a little flattery, knowing how he likes to have his ego stroked, Lena tries to sway him. “I'll even get Jess to clear my schedule of anything but the most unavoidable of tasks”. 

“Lena, how am I supposed to spend the entire day running your company, and get everyone to believe I'm you, when I can't even walk in god-damn high heels without falling on my face!” Feeling himself start to freak out a little, James once again curses the restrictiveness of Lena's clothes. “Can't you just call in sick for the day?”

“Unfortunately C.E.O's don't get the luxury of days off, even on the days they get kidnapped or have attempts made on their life, so I'll be damned if a little body swap is going to keep me away from doing my job”. Snapping at him slightly, sharing in his frustration that they will have to wait 24 hours in order for Brainy to get enough time away from the DEO in order to recreate the conditions with the blue Kryptonite, she can't help snarking. “Just be glad you didn't jump into my body last week, or you'd be craving cookie dough ice cream and really bad rom coms right now”. 

Watching as the connection is made, she can't help finding the amount of panic that flashes across his eyes at the thought of dealing with female monthly issues on top of female societal problems like high heels, incredibly amusing. 

“You can wear my biker boots, they're wide heels so you won't trip over, as long as you promise you won't screw up my meeting with the Japanese. I've been working too long to bring it to fruition to see it all go down the toilet now”. 

Still looking reluctant, but relieved that he won't have to contend with towering death-traps on every step, James eventually nods. “I'll agree, on one condition”. 

Looking wary, Lena narrows her eyes cautiously. “What would that be?”

“You have to do my make up in the morning”. 

“Of course”. Relieved, Lena nods. “I wouldn't want 'me' going to work looking like a streetwalker now would I!”


	2. The Reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Lena only have to get through one day in each others jobs until they can get back into their own bodies. 
> 
> Simple, right? 
> 
> It would have been, if not for a certain caped hero unexpectedly turning up on Lena's balcony. 
> 
>    
> Not beta'd so all mistakes are my own.

“Did everything go as expected, Miss. Luthor?” 

Feeling happy with himself, James smiles at Jess. “It went very well, thank you Jess. I think she'll be very pleased”. 

“She who?”

The frown that appears on the receptionists face pulls James out of his thoughts and he mentally kicks himself when he realises what he's said. “Oh, you know. The eternal She”. 

Seeing that his words only make the frown deepen, he flashes an awkward smile and points to Lena's office. “I'll just be in....yeah”.

Slipping through the doors, James makes sure they are closed firmly behind him before covering his face with his hands and letting out a loud groan. 

“Is everything okay Miss. Luthor?”

Shooting away from the door as if it is on fire, James lets out a squeaky “I'm fine, don't come in!” before collapsing onto the couch and burying his head in a cushion. Aware that he might be smudging Lena's make up, James lets out another groan, though restrains himself for fear Lena's bat-eared receptionist may hear it again. 

Today may just qualify as James' worst day ever, and that includes the days he was tortured and almost died!

When they'd been dating, he'd always been a bit dismissive of the stories Lena had told him about the men she had to deal with; the slimeballs and sleezy types who didn't take her seriously as a business woman and thought a woman's only place should be a kitchen or a bedroom, but this morning James had discovered just how wrong he'd been. This morning he'd had to deal with a string of Morgan Edge type creeps who thought they could charm their way into Lena's boardroom and panties, with one even going so far as to place his hand on James' rear when he'd believed no one else was looking. 

James knew he owed Lena a HUGE apology the next time he saw her, but at least he hadn't decked the guy that felt her up and ruined the Japanese deal. 

Knowing Lena will be waiting to hear how the meeting went he hops up from the couch and walks over to the desk, intending to reaching into 'his' purse for Lena's phone, when there is a gust of wind and he looks up to see Supergirl standing in the doorway to the balcony. 

Totally caught off guard, not expecting to see anyone he knows while like this, James blurts out the first thing that pops into his head. 

Which, unfortunately, is the Girl of Steel's name. “Kara, it's you!”

Hearing her name trip off her best friends lips completely shocks the blonde woman, and the sunny smile that had been stretching her lips instantly disappears. “I...you...what?”

Knowing he has monumentally screwed up, but at the same time not ready to reveal the truth that he and Lena have actually swapped bodies, James panics even more. Straightening his spine like he has seen Lena do in confrontational situations, he tries to emulate her icy tone. “I'm a genius, Kara. Glasses and a ponytail weren't going to fool me forever”. 

“Lena, I....”

Completely thrown by the sudden turn, and by having her greatest fear occur just as Lena was back to trusting Supergirl – Kara had almost wept when Lena has asked her if it would be okay to use blue Kryptonite in her experiments to help transgender people, and had even subjected herself to green K exposure in order to get Lena the blood sample she needed, Kara can only stare at her best friend in shock. 

“I don't feel like talking right now. Please leave”. 

Completely freaking out, James doesn't know what to do. 

If Kara stays to try and talk things through then she will realise that it isn't actually her best friend she is conversing with, and James doesn't know if he can handle another person learning the truth about what has happened to him. Yesterday with Brainy had been incredibly embarrassing, and he doesn't even know him that well. If someone like Kara or Alex were to find out then James thinks he might have to move cities rather than live with the fallout, and he really likes National City. 

So tonight, once Brainy has switched Lena and himself back into their own bodies, he will find a way to damage control this; but for now he needs Kara to LEAVE. 

Watching the saddened woman flinch at his tone, James belatedly realises the amount of force Lena can put into a single word. 

As he watches Kara turn and fly sadly away, he prays that he hasn't damaged their relationship irrevocably. 

****

Faring much better in her day, Lena has been incredible productive. 

Not having to worry about make up or doing her hair has been rather freeing, and she loves the feel of the fitted suit and sensible shoes. 

Deciding to embrace her day as the opposite gender, Lena has been a perfect gentleman. 

She has held doors open at every opportunity, complimented women on their outfits in the correct way, called other men out whenever she's heard them say anything sexist or misogynist, and made sure to wash her hands after every bathroom visit. Having to visit the gents rather than the ladies is definitely a down side to being a guy she laments, as the toilets are way less aromatic than the ones she's used to. Wrinkling her nose at the remembered smell, Lena makes a note to install way more air fresheners in all the male bathrooms. But being a guy does mean peeing takes way less time. 

If only I could experience the other perks to having a penis.

Shifting in her seat at the thought, Lena knows that awkward boners at work must also be a downside to being a guy. 

Thinking about the embarrassing situation she'd encountered this morning, when she'd woken from a rather erotic dream to discover 'morning wood', she can't help flushing at how much she'd wanted to discover what a male orgasm felt like. Knowing it would be a violation of James' boundaries, as he hadn't consented to anything sexual and she certainly wouldn't be happy if he did anything similar while in her body, she had instead take a very cold shower until it receded.

The fact that the dream had been about a certain blonde had only compounded the matter, as Lena had been forced to face her that morning and not only try to act like she hadn't been ravishing her in her dreams, but also like James instead of Lena. She thinks she has been managing okay so far, mainly because Kara seems be busy as she keeps disappearing from the office, but as it is still only lunch time Lena knows there is a fair bit of the day left to go. 

Just as that thought pops into her head Lena sees Kara emerge from the elevator, and the sight of the gorgeous woman makes her treacherous heart (as well as other - temporarily borrowed organs), leap. 

Frowning when she notices the reporter is making a beeline for her office, and she doesn't look happy, Lena immediately becomes concerned. Standing up from her desk, she watches as Kara closes the glass doors, something that is rarely done here as James has a literal 'doors open' policy, and walks over to join her by the couches. “Kara, is everything okay?”

“I...I just don't know how it happened”. Pacing up and down as she chews on her thumbnail, Kara is staring into space as she mumbles to herself. “I know I can be careless sometimes, but I thought with her I was better than that”. 

Able to see that the normally bubbly woman is almost thrumming with anxiety, Lena feels herself start to get concerned. 

“Kara, honey, what are you talking about?”

Stopping to stare at Lena like she's just noticed someone else is in the room with her, Kara's face is a picture confused distress. “She knows, James. Lena knows!”

Heart dropping to her toes at the sound of her own name, Lena sucks in a sharp breath. “What...What does she know?”

“About me! She knows about me. My secret”. Running a hand through curly blonde locks in agitation, Kara resumes her pacing. “I know I slipped sometimes, but I always thought I'd covered it up well enough”. 

Rooted to the spot in total befuddlement, Lena can do nothing but watch Kara pace and talk to herself. Mind whirring yet able to process nothing, Lena has no idea what to think. What is going on? What do I know? What secret?

“She must hate me”. 

The words, coupled with the choked way they are said, bring Lena's focus back to the woman in front of her.

“What? Of course I.....of Lena doesn't hate you”. Walking over and laying her hands gently on Kara's shoulders, mindful of the greater strength she wields in James' body, Lena stops her from pacing. “Lena adores you, you know that”. 

Stunning blue eyes look up at her from behind slightly fogged glasses, filled with tears. “Lillian was right. All these years I've lied to her, deceived her, there's no way she can forgive me”. 

“Lillian? What? What are you talking about, Kara? When did my....when did she say that to you?”

Completely lost, but desperately trying to understand in order to try and work out just why Kara seems so convinced she hates her, Lena is thrown by the mention of her mother. Guiding Kara over to the couch, she sits them both down then takes the trembling woman's hands in her larger ones. 

“It was when Rhea had Lena and Mon-El aboard her ship”. Talking haltingly through her tears, Kara is completely distraught. “We agreed a truce because she wanted to get Lena back as much as I did, and at one point I asked her why she'd never told Lena my secret”. 

Wishing she could pull Kara into her arms and tell her that it is fact Lena she is talking and she doesn't hate her, she very much loves her, the disguised woman knows Kara couldn't deal with that right now, so instead asks.“How does Lillian know your secret?” 

“I assume Jeremiah”. 

“Alex's dad?” Lena feels herself spiralling further down the rabbit hole with each new thing Kara says.

“He's been working for Cadmus for years, so god only knows what else they know”. 

“Alex's dad was working with Lillian?”

“You know this, James”

Nodding, Lena shakes herself slightly. “Right, sorry. So what did Lillian say, as to why she never told m....Lena”. 

“You know this too”.

“Remind me?”

“That Lena was smart, and she'd eventually work it out for herself. But when she did she'd hate me for it”. Kara sighs heavily. “She will, James. I know how important trust is to her and I've broken it. I've lied to her to years, and that's unforgivable”. 

Realising that whatever this secret is it must be pretty huge, Lena knows she is in the unique position of being able to find out as much information as possible about the reasons why before actually discovering the secret itself. “Why did you lie then?”

“James you know why!” Swiping at the tears cascading down her cheeks, Kara gives her a frustrated look.

“I.. Just...Pretend I'm Lena...” Swallowing hard, knowing this could backfire on her massively, the nervous woman still presses forward. “If she was sitting here in front of you now, what would you say?” 

Wanting to rescind the words immediately as they cause Kara to burst into another round of heart wrenching sobs, Lena has to fight to keep her own eyes clear of tears at the utter wretchedness of her best friend. “I would tell her it's not because I don't trust her, because I DO! I trusted her from the start, and defended her when everyone else was saying she was part of Cadmus, you included James, because I knew in my heart she was good”. 

The knowledge that James had thought she was a part of Cadmus doesn't shock Lena, but the news that Kara has gone against him in defending her warms her heart. 

“Lena has proved a thousand times over how good she is, to me and the world, and I trust her with my life”. 

Barely able to speak due to how emotional she is, Lena hears James voice come out gruffly. “Why didn't you then”. 

“Because it's too dangerous!” Wailing the words as another round of tears start, Kara buries her head in her hands. “Everyone that knows pays a price, and I...I...I love her too much to let her sacrifice a part of herself for me”. 

Feeling her heart skip a beat at those words, Lena knows then that it doesn't matter what Kara's secret is, she could never hate her for it. With her mind made up she decides to she WANTS to know the secret.

“Surely that's her choice? Lena loves you too, more than you know, and she'd willingly sacrifice anything to keep your secret safe”. 

“No, James! I won't let her”. 

The fury that suddenly blasts out of Kara is both unexpected and intimidating, and Lena has to admit she's never seen such steel in the placid woman before. 

“I've already lost Alex because of it, and I won't lose her too!”

Frowning at her words, Lena is once again lost. “You haven't lost her, Kara. Alex is your sister, and she will always love you”. 

“That's just it!” 

Throwing her hands up in exasperation, Kara jumps out of her seat and starts pacing again. 

“I HAVE lost her, because Alex doesn't know me anymore. She only knows Kara Danvers. Since the mind-wipe she only knows half of me, and it's tearing me apart not being able to share all of myself with her”. 

“Mind-wipe?” Eyes wide, Lena's brain is whirring as she tries to make sense of everything she is hearing. 

“I know she did it voluntarily, to protect me, but every time she looks into my eyes and doesn't see ME, I just want to scream. I want to scream that I want my sister back, I want to beg for her to come back, that I would do anything to make it possible, but I can't. Because I know she's safer this way ”. 

There is such a broken quality in Kara's voice as she speaks about Alex that Lena is unable to prevent the tear that escapes and runs down over her cheek, and she doesn't care how it looks when she gazes up at Kara will tears filling her eyes. “I can't even imagine how that must feel”. 

“It feels like my heart is split in two”. 

No longer pacing, all the energy drained from her, Kara now drops down onto her knees in front of Lena. 

“THAT is why I could never tell Lena. Because, even though it killed me every day to have to lie to her, she was safer not knowing, and it meant she never got to a point where she was forced to make a choice like Alex did”

Lena is stunned. Never in a million year did she expect something like this to occur when she came to work today dressed as James, yet here she is listening to her best friend pour her heart out about....a secret she STILL doesn't know. 

“Do you mind if I take the rest of the day? I'm kinda done”. Feeling utterly exhausted, Kara knows she is going to be no good for anything at work, and just wants to go home and sleep for a while. “I'll text Snapper and say I'm chasing a lead”. 

“Yeah, sure”. Having no clue what else to say, and not feeling able to push for the secret after seeing how worn out Kara is, Lena silently follows as the blonde woman walks toward the doors leading to the balcony. “Are...are you okay? Do you need some air?”

Stopping with her hand on the handle, Kara looks back at Lena solemnly. 

“I just don't think I can face going back through there-” indicating back to the bullpen, she lifts her other hand to remove the glasses from her face “-you'll makes my excuses, right?”

With that, Kara opens the door and, in a gust of wind, she takes off into the sky. 

Left staring at the spot where she just stood, Lena feels as if she might have actually dislocated James' jaw with the way it had dropped open when she'd seen Kara disappear off the balcony.

Feeling dizzy and faint, and a million other things that she doesn't know if she can describe right now, everything that didn't make sense the whole time she was talking to Kara all now clicks into place. Her mother, Cadmus, Alex looking at her but not seeing HER. 

“Oh my god Kara, you're Supergirl”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the wonderful comments and kudos, they really do give me life (and make me smile each and every time I read one). 
> 
> Seeing as you were all SO good I posted sooner than intended, which means chapter 3 is not quite finished yet. I will endeavour to complete it just as soon as I can.
> 
> As ever, your thoughts feed me. So please, let me know what you think of this one!


	3. The Reversal and the Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena needs her body back, and she NEEDS to see Kara.

_ I flew here on a bus. _

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_ The alien detection device not working. _

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_ I was getting coffee with Kara Danvers. _

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_ Dreaming Kara flew with me when I was poisoned.  _

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_ The reason Supergirl looked so betrayed when she found out I made Kryptonite. _

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_ Why Kara kept trying to disappear when Mercy Graves attacked L-corp, and the mysterious way Supergirl got in despite the lock-down. _

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Now that the blindfold has finally been removed from her eyes, it all makes perfect sense. 

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So much so that Lena feels somewhat foolish that she'd never put the pieces together before. Knowing that Kara has been actively trying to prevent her from finding out does soothe her ego slightly.

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Still, the discovery is monumental, and she can't quite wrap her head around it. 

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Kara Danvers; sunny, bubbly, wouldn't hurt a fly and blushes when given a compliment, Kara Danvers is actually Supergirl. 

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The woman Lena lo....cares for, is actually the Girl of Steel.

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Blanching, Lena remembers when, during their time trying to find a way to save Sam, Supergirl and herself had fallen out over her development of Kryptonite. 

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Kara had come over that very same night to comfort Lena about it, and they'd spent the night watching cheesy movies and eating pizza. Eventually, they'd gotten around to the subject of the disagreement, and Lena had come out with some less than choice words to say about the superhero. 

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Many along the lines of 'superior', 'uptight', 'god complex', and 'stick up her ass'. 

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Yet Kara had never been anything less than supportive of Lena the entire time. Never berating her for her harsh words, not even once, and had instead cuddled her close to tell her that she was sure the two of them could find a way to work through it because she believed in them both. 

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Sighing at how difficult that must have been for Kara, Lena finds it astounding that the woman she'd for so long thought was a terrible liar, had actually turned out to be one of the best liars she'd ever met. 

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“Yet I don't even know if I can be mad about it”. 

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Muttering to herself as she swipes a hand across her head in frustration, a move she's seen James do often and which she can admit is far easier to do with no hair, Lena continues to pace as she tries to organise her thoughts. 

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On the one hand yes, Kara has kept a HUGE secret from her, which has involved lying to her practically every day since the day they met. 

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On the other, that lie was to keep not just Kara safe but Lena herself. Plus Kara has saved Lena's life multiple times. 

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Although, now she comes to think about it, it seems Lena has saved Kara's life too because she's saved Supergirl's life. But if she saved Supergirl's life that means Kara nearly died without her knowing.....

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“Oh god I need a drink!” 

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Sinking down on the couch as her legs go weak at the thought of losing Kara, right in front of her eyes, without even knowing it, Lena feels like she's going to throw up. 

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All the times she's watched Supergirl get injured, and all the times she's nearly died flash through her mind- because while Lena had been afraid and scared for the hero at the time, she remembers a small part of her brain had been thinking “at least Kara isn't here, at least she is somewhere safe”.

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Knowing the truth, that she had been watching her best friend in the world and the woman whom owns her heart get the snot kicked out of her right in front of her, makes Lena want to slap herself with the back end of a Buick for being so stupid. 

****

If she hadn't been able to hear Kara's side of things, if Lena had found out her secret on any other day apart from this one, she thinks that maybe her mother might have been partially right. Lena wouldn't have hated her, but she certainly would have been incredibly angry with Kara for a little while for keeping such a huge secret from her. Because all she would have been able to focus on was the lies. 

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Yet right now all Lena can think about is how broken Kara had looked when she'd left. 

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Hearing the reasons Kara kept the secret, BEFORE finding out the secret itself, had stopped Lena from immediately spiralling and putting up her walls. Plus, knowing that Kara didn't even have Alex to go to for comfort as she didn't know she was Supergirl either simply made Lena's heart fill with sadness for Kara rather than anger. 

****

Gazing back at the balcony, Lena wonders where the blonde woman had flown off to. Did she go home, or to Supergirl's Fortress of Solitude that she'd heard people talk about? 

****

Lena half wonders if she has a visit from Superman due in her future, as a warning to stay away from Kara, or maybe a visit from whomever was able to make Alex forget. Only she's pretty sure she wouldn't be given the choice whether her mind-wipe would be voluntary or not. 

****

First things first. 

****

Standing up and walking over to the desk, Lena picks up the phone and dials a number. When it's answered she speaks quickly. “It's Lena. It needs doing now. No Brainy, now.  Make up whatever excuse you need and get to L-corp to set things in motion. I'll meet you there”. 

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As soon as she hangs up she marches out of the office, barking orders at James' assistant to push the rest of the items on the agenda for today until tomorrow as she will be out of the office and unavailable for the rest of the day. 

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Not stopping to glancing at the flustered woman, she then strides to the elevator and leaves. 

****

 ****

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“I thought you said CEO's don't get days off?” 

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Looking slightly put out that he's had to undergo several hours of hell that he doesn't seem to have had to, James grumbles as he watches Lena pace. 

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“It's half a day, and do you want your body back or not?” Frayed nerves causing her to snap back at him more than intended, Lena sees James flinch when she towers over him. 

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“Alright, alright, you don't have to bite my head off”.  Holding his hands up defensively, James tries to placate her. “Of course I want my body back. My calves are killing me from wearing heels, I have a banging headache from having my hair pulled back so tight in this ponytail, and whoever invented bra's should be shot because they truly are modern day torture devices”. 

****

Turning away to stalk over to her desk without comment, Lena can't help the passing thought that maybe all men should be turned into women for a day so they can appreciate what they go through. Force them to quite literally walk a mile in our shoes. 

****

Maybe then they'd realise what damned pricks most of them are. 

****

It's a pleasing thought, but not one Lena knows she'd ever entertain. It goes against consent, and she'd never be party to anything like that. However, maybe its something she could develop for couples that want to spice things up in the bedroom......switch bodies to experience how their partner feels pleasure and better learn how to please them? 

****

Now THAT she is all for getting on board with.

****

Reaching her destination, Lena sits down and brings up the CCTV cameras for the lab Brainy is working in. Seeing the man in question just outside the room and tapping away on a tablet, she clicks on her earpiece to activate it. “Brainy, what's the status on the Blue Kryptonite?”

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“Miss Luthor, I was just about to communicate with you!” Ever upbeat and jovial, Brainy sounds positively euphoric as he speaks. 

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“Is the room ready?”

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Lena sees him frown at her terse words, but his own remain chipper. “Yes. In fact it is currently at optimal levels for us to attempt the transposition between your body and Mr. Olsen's”. 

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“Good. We'll be straight down”. 

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Cutting the connection without any further ado, Lena looks up to find her own inquisitive green orbs staring at her. Nodding to confirm what James is asking, the pair of them stand and head out the room without speaking. 

****

 ****

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“This is going to work, right?”

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Suddenly nervous to step back into the room again, James looks between Lena and Brainy, seeking reassurance. 

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“Statistically speaking, there is an eighty-nine per cent chance of this scenario working perfectly”. Sounding like a teacher, Brainy reels off the fact with a confident look on his face. 

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“Eighty-nine?” Screwing up his face,  _ Don't think too hard James, you'll give me wrinkles  _ Lena thinks, James asks. “What happens in the other eleven per cent?”

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“You and Miss. Luthor merge together, like Seth Brundle does with a fly when it becomes trapped in his teleportation device during the cult 80's movie... The Fly!” 

****

Rolling her eyes at the dramatic way Brainy says the name of the movie, Lena can tell instantly that Kara has been an influence in his viewing habits. “Don't terrify the man any more than he already is Brainy. I would really hate to get back into my own body only to find my underwear is soiled”. 

****

Receiving a hurt look from James and nod of understanding from Brainy, Lena takes control of the situation. 

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“Well gentlemen, I have other things to do with the rest of my day, and I would like to do them in MY body, so if we may?”

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Both men nod, though James is far more hesitant, and Brainy retreats to the safety of the room beyond the decontamination section. 

****

Entering the room, Lena feels her heart pick up with trepidation. 

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_Please_ _let this work_. 

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Never having wanted an experiment to work more in her life, Lena doesn't know what she'll do if she has to spend another hour as James. 

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_ I need to find Kara. I  _ **_need_ ** _ to talk to her. _

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There is still so much swirling around Lena's head that she doesn't know quite what she will say, but she just knows that she needs to be with her, and see her with her own two eyes, not James' soulful brown ones. 

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“How long is this going supposed to take?” 

****

Spinning around with a gasp at the question, the sound of James' deep voice startling her, Lena stares in shock at the sight of the handsome man standing in front of her. 

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Looking just as surprised, James is gawking back at her, slack jawed. 

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Hands flying up to clutch at her chest, Lena finds the familiar swellings that signify she is back to being female, and she lets out a bark of laughter at the relief she feels. “Oh thank god”. 

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Watching James do the same to his crotch and practically passing out in happiness when he finds the satisfying bulge back once again, Lena clicks her earpiece on. 

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“Brainy, please in send the nanobots to scrub the room”. 

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“I'm going to assume by the far less baritone tenor to your voice, Miss. Luthor, that the Kryptonite has done its job?”

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“Indeed it has”. Delighted to hear the clip tones of her own voice once again, Lena can't help the  smile that slips on to her lips. “Thank you for your assistance, I am in your debt”. 

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“It's always a pleasure seeing what new marvel you've come up, and I look forward to watching the impact Project Butterfly has on the world from this time-line”. 

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“ _ This _ time-line?” 

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“Oh...I mean..um,..the nanobots are ready”. 

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Frowning with suspicion, Lena is about to pursue the conversation further, but the sight of James heading for the door causes her to put a pin in that conversation and question where he is heading in such a hurry. 

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“I..err...” Happy to be back in his own body, but now stressing about the damage he had caused when Kara had unexpectedly stopped by earlier, James frowns at Lena. “I need to go. I have to talk to Kara about.....something”. 

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“Kara?” 

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Alarm bells going off at the sound of the reporters name, Lena narrows her eyes and studies the man she dated for long enough to be able to tell when he is keeping something from her. Seeing his tell-tale guilty face, the cogs in her mind start to put the pieces together, and Lena takes the couple of steps necessary to block his path to the exit. 

****

“What do you need to speak to Kara about?”

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Almost colliding with Lena in his haste to leave the room, James looks panic-stricken by her question and practically leaps away from her, squeaking at the top of his voice. “NOTHING!” 

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The only time Lena has heard James makes such an undignified sound was when they'd been walking by the river in National City Harbour during a date one night, and a rat had popped up out of the water right next to his foot. 

****

He has the same look of fear on his face now, as if Lena is about to take a chunk out of him, and it makes her wonder exactly what nugget of information he is keeping from her. 

****

“James.......” The warning tone in her voice is clear, which intensifies the guilt in his eyes whilst making them bounce around looking for an alternative route out of this uncomfortable situation, and sends her suspicions through the roof. Crossing her arms over her chest, Lena levels him with her best 'busy CEO done taking your bullshit' look, and sees him swallow hard. 

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“It's nothing, really. I just have this....thing I need to talk to her about from earlier. So if I could just...”

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Able to tell he is lying immediately, as his tone is the same as the one he'd used when trying to convince her the whole Guardian mess with the D.A wasn't an issue, Lena focuses in on the mention of him seeing Kara earlier. Holding her hand out to block him when he attempts to step around her, she looks up into James' face with penetrating eyes as she asks. “James, did Kara come to see 'me' at L-corp today?”

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Blood draining from his face instantly, James stutters for a moment. “Er....Kara? To..to see....you? At...at...I don't....”

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Raising her left eyebrow in an 'are you really trying to bullshit me?' arc, Lena keeps firm green eyes pinned to wavering brown ones. 

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“She came to see me, didn't she, James. But she wasn't wearing a button up and pants. She was wearing a cape”. Having finally worked out a good approximation of what she thinks must have happened, based on previous occasions Supergirl has stopped by her office balcony unannounced, Lena decided to take a calculated guess rather than listen to him bluster anymore. 

****

“You KNOW????”

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Seeing his eyes widen even more, to the point were she actually fears they may fall out of their sockets, Lena watches with some bemusement as James almost falls over in shock. 

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“How....when....I didn't....?” Unable to complete a single thought as his mind is racing through about a thousand different ones at the same time, James suddenly frowns hard. “Hold on. How did you know  **I** knew?”

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“Your scars”. Raising her hand to trace across her own body where she knows they lay on James', Lena's voice is now gentle. She knows this subject is still sensitive with him; they had been caused, directly or indirectly, by her brother after all, so treads lightly. “I remember when we were together that I once asked you about them. You tried your best to change the subject, not wanting to get on the subject of Lex while we were in bed together, but you did eventually say that it was the sacrifice you were willing to pay for being friends with a Super”. 

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“I was talking about Superman then, not Supergirl”. Giving her a quizzical look, James still doesn't understand. 

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One side of her lips lifting in the ghost of a smile, Lena lets out a small laugh. “You didn't give up Superman's identity despite being repeatedly tortured, yet you really expect me to believe you weren't going to be entrusted with Supergirl's real name?” 

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“How do YOU know her identity?”

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“I didn't”. 

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Seeing the 'OH SHIT' look flash across his face, thinking he's just been played, Lena quickly continues. 

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“Until Kara turned up at Catco a couple of hours ago, completely distraught, and ranting about me finding out about her secret”. 

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“She WHAT?”

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Convinced she is going to end up giving him a heart attack at some point, Lena indicates for James to sit down in one of the swivel chairs to try and avoid him collapsing and potentially cracking his skull on the hard tiled floor. James sinks into the seat gratefully, his head in his hands as he mutters about how Alex would kill him if she knew how badly he'd screwed things up, and Lena once again thinks about the fact that Alex has had her entire memory of Kara's identity as Supergirl wiped. 

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Shaking her head in order to focus on the here and now, Lena brings her thoughts back to the man in front of her. “I had no idea what she was going on about at first, as she just kept going on about how hurt I must be about her lying to me all this time, and throwing in random stuff that didn't seem to make a lick of sense like my mother and Cadmus”. 

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“Lena, I didn't mean to....”

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“I'm sure you didn't-” interrupting him, Lena isn't interested in hearing an apology from the obviously contrite man. What she  _ is _ interested in, is the truth “-but you still did. So you're going to tell me exactly what it is you did to convince Kara so effectively that I hate her, so that I can then go find her and try to undo it”. 

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“You mean you  **don't** hate her?”

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Eyes hardening at the surprise in his voice, Lena once again realises just how incompatible the two of them were as a couple.  

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“She's my best friend James, I could  _ never _ hate her”. Lena would literally murder anyone that attempted to harm a hair on Kara's head, and her vow remains intact even knowing that the blonde is The Girl of Steel, but refrains from voicing that to the seated man. “I may have been angry with her for a while, incredibly angry probably, and dealt with my feelings by drowning them in malt liquor; I would have got over myself when I remembered how may times she's risked her life to save mine”.  

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“Oh”. Effectively chastised, and slightly embarrassed that he clearly doesn't know the woman he professed to love as well as he thought he did, James seems to shrink into his seat.

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“Now, what did you say to her?”

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 ****

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Swerving around the car in front of her, Lena pulls back on the throttle just in time to give the motorcycle beneath her the kick it needs to blast through the lights before they turn red. 

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Aware she is straddling the line of legal speed limits, Lena nevertheless doesn't slow down as she guides the Arch KGRT-1's powerful body through the city and towards her destination. Having no clue whether Kara will actually be at her apartment or not, it is still Lena's first and best shot at finding the blonde. 

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Arriving within fifteen minutes of leaving L-corp thanks to her trusty steed, Lena has to admit that James' inability to walk in heels, (and aversion to wearing a skirt today) had meant her pant-suit and biker boots combo had made her ability to hop on the bike and not take one of her cars much easier. Of course she was still fuming at how his careless words, and cowardice at owning up to being in her body, had combined to caused this whole mess, but she could continue to chew him out for that another time. 

****

Right now her priority was finding her best friend, and proving that she didn't hate her. 

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Parking the bike just outside the apartment block, Lena shakes her hair out of the helmet then  engages the motorbikes anti-theft security measures. If anyone tries to tamper with the 125K bike they receive 50 thousand volts of electricity shot straight at them, and the bike sends a distress call straight to the nearest patrol car. 

****

Catching the outside door just as one of the residents are leaving, Lena is grateful to enter the apartment building without having to buzz Kara first, and makes her way up in the elevator to her floor. 

****

Feeling progressively more nervous the closer she gets, Lena wrings her hands together as she realises she has no idea what she is going to say when she sees her. Before she has a chance to try and work it out the doors are opening, and Lena finds herself walking down the hallway towards Kara's apartment. 

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Stopping outside the door to 4b, Lena raises her hand to knock, then lowers it when her nerve fails her. Feeling her heart thumping wildly in her chest, Lena realises she is scared. Scared to mess this up. 

****

What if she says the wrong thing, and ends up hurting Kara even more? 

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Taking a deep breath to try and calm herself, Lena raises her fist and knocks on the door before she  talk herself out of it again. When, after a moment or so there is no sound from inside, she tries again. 

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The deafening silence that stretches back at her seems to slide over Lena's fraying nerves, coating them in tension as it hints that Kara is not at home and, before she knows what she is doing, Lena finds herself banging on the door in desperation with loud, repeated thumps. 

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It is only when an irritated voice, one from  _ inside _ the apartment, snaps “Alright, alright, there's no need to knock my freaking door down!” that Lena realises how out of control she has just been. 

****

Stopping instantly, hand halfway towards another thump, Lena instead gasps out the blonde's name. 

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Hearing her own name, coming out sounding just shocked, from the other side of the door, Lena's heart skips a beat.  “Kara? Kara can you open the door? Please”.

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“Why are you here, Lena?”

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Door remaining firmly closed, Lena can hear the trepidation in Kara's voice. 

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Sighing deeply as she places her hand on the barrier between them, Lena understands the reason for her fear. “I just want to talk Kara, that's all. To explain”. 

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“It didn't seem like you wanted to talk when you ordered me out of your office earlier”. 

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The hurt and scepticism in Kara's voice are clear, and Lena grinds her teeth together as she fights the urge not to beat James into a bloody pulp for doing this to her. “That wasn't......”

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Stopping herself from blurting out the rest of the sentence, aware that people in adjoining properties may well be able to hear her at her current volume, Lena instead turns so that she rest her back against the door and then slowly sinks to the floor. Pulling her knees up against her chest, she wraps her arms around them, finding a small amount of comfort in the gesture, then begins talking again. This time in a whisper. 

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“Kara, I want to explain everything to you but I also can't let your neighbours overhear, so I'm going to have to talk quietly. Is that okay?” 

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Standing on the other side of the door, having used her X-ray vision to watch the billionaire CEO slump down into a ball onto her threadbare 'Welcome' mat, Kara doesn't quite know what is going on. 

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Having been roused from an exhaustion induced sleep, caused by several hours of heavy crying, by the incessant knocking on her door, Kara had been caught completely off guard when she'd heard Lena call her name.  Not expecting Lena to be the one banging on her door, her jumbled thoughts assuming it probably more likely to be James, or Alex if he had called her, she hadn't bothered to check before announcing her displeasure at the noise. 

****

Now unable to pretend she isn't home, Kara frowns as her sensitive ears pick up the sound of Lena whispering.

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Grateful that she is being considerate enough to think about her neighbours overhearing, she is totally confused as to why the angry woman would 1- come over here in the first place, and 2 - care if she revealed her secret to others after Kara had kept it from her for so long. 

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When Lena had kicked her out of her office this afternoon, there had been a look in here eyes that Kara hadn't been able to decipher. One she doesn't think she's ever seen before, and she has spent the entire time since trying to work out what it meant. The ice in her voice she had heard before, but that look? It has her totally baffled. 

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A heavy sigh from the exterior side of the door draws Kara's thoughts back to the woman currently sat in her hallway, and she focuses back in on the quiet words. 

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“I assume from your silence that you're still angry with me, and that's totally understandable, but I promise you Kara, it wasn't me”. 

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“It sure sounded like you”. The words are out before she knows she is saying them, and the bite in Kara's voice is as clear as the hurt. 

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The words sting like a physical slap, and Lena flinches as the barb hits squarely. 

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“I guess I can't deny that. I've said some pretty horrible things to Supergirl”. 

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Throat closing up as she thinks about all the nasty things she's ever said, and how devastated Supergirl had looked when she'd told her they'd never been friends, guilt floods through Lena. 

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“I'm not here to deny every terrible thing I've ever said to Supergirl, or about her, Kara. I can't take those words back, and all I can do is apologise for them, but I won't have you thinking that these latest words are also mine”. 

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Totally confused by now, Kara frowns as Lena's words make no sense to her. “How can what you said earlier  **not** be your words? I was looking right at you when you said them”.

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“Because.....” Knowing he will not be happy about this, Lena doesn't care as all that matters right now is trying to remove the pain she can hear from Kara's voice. Taking a deep breath, she says the words she knows will either get her the chance to explain, thrown off the roof, or locked up in Belle Reve Sanitarium. “Because even though it was my face you were looking at, it was James you was talking to”. 

****

There is total silence inside the apartment for so long that Lena starts to think Kara has flown out the window, and she is just about ready to give up and head home to drown her sorrows in copious amounts of expensive scotch when, a second later, she if forced to let out a squeak of surprise as the door propping her up vanishes, and she flops inelegantly backwards. 

****

Laying prostrate, half in and half out of the apartment, Lena gazes up to see a wide eyed, pyjama clad, glasses-less Kara staring down at her with a look of total confusion on her face. 

****

“What do you mean, I was talking to James?”

****

Seeing Kara for the first time since she watched her fly out of Catco, the toll the ordeal has taken on her is easy for Lena to spot. Though her eyes are not red and puffy, as she guesses Kryptonian genes prevent that annoying side effect of crying, Lena can tell Kara has, by the ashen quality to her complexion and tangled mess of golden locks, spent the majority of her time upset and in tears. 

****

Feeling even more guilty for allowing her to spend so long in pain unnecessarily, Lena stares up into her bests friends tired eyes with an ache in her heart and a longing to make things right. “James was in my body”. 

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“Yeah, right”. Scoffing immediately, Kara rolls her eyes at the ridiculous idea. “Next you're going to tell me it was you in James' body when I spoke to him at Catco!”

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“You've remember that outlandish and totally improbable film you made me watch, Freaky Friday?” Lifting an eyebrow expectantly, Lena shrugs awkwardly against the carpet. “Turns out Blue K makes it not so improbable”. 

****

“What?” Staring at Lena with incredulous eyes, if Kara didn't know Alex had been mind-wiped she would be half convinced her sister was trying to wind her up and had roped in the normally serious business woman in as the perfect foil to do so.

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Feeling ridiculous having such a serious conversation while laying flat on her back and hanging half out the door of her best friends apartment, Lena decides to sit up, slowly, and spin herself around.  Closing the door as she does, Lena rests back against it, mimicking her position from earlier, just on the inside this time. 

****

“Cliff notes version? James and I got accidentally dosed with a large, concentrated amount of Blue Kryptonite that had been dispersed into one of my labs, and it somehow switched us. Brainy couldn't recreate the conditions immediately, so we had to spend 24 hours living in the others body”. 

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“You.....and James......in each others.....” Looking like she is about to have a stroke, Kara sinks down to the floor and places her head in her hands.  

****

Once again feeling the urge to gather the fragile looking woman in her arms, despite knowing Kara could snap her like a twig with her little finger, Lena swallows hard as she wrings her hands together. 

****

“I wanted to tell you, I honestly did, but James was so freaked out by the whole thing that he said the only way he'd agree to go into L-corp and attend the meetings I needed him to was if no one knew about it”. 

****

Seeing Kara glance up questioningly, Lena offers her a tentative smile.  

****

“I think he was worried about becoming a laughing stock at work, or ending up as an article in a rival paper, but I really needed him to attend the Japanese deal to secure their agreement to ban the hunting of whales for scientific purposes, so I had little choice but to agree to his terms”. 

****

“You finally got them to agree?” Knowing Lena has been trying to lock down this agreement for almost two years, having invented synthetic whale blubber, meat and organs to eradicate the need for the country to skirt the ban on hunting the critically endangered animals by citing “scientific reasons” as it's need to slaughter hundreds of the magnificent beasts every year, Kara can't help staring at the dark haired woman in slack jawed amazement.  

****

“It appears so”. Still feeling slightly strange that she wasn't present to witness the culmination of all her efforts, Lena can't help the wry chuckle that bubbles out of her at the memory of the look on James' face when he'd told her what had occurred during the meeting. “All it took was two years of hard work, millions of pounds of research, and James Olsen letting the Prime Minister of Japan cop a feel of my ass”. 

****

“He did what?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments continue to give me life, and I adore each and every one of you that have taken the time to say something. Thank you all!
> 
> Please me know what you think of this chapter, it is slightly longer so I hope you like, but it does mean I am still working on Chapter 4!


	4. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena and Kara finally talk - about everything, and feelings come out.

“I'm going to kill him!” 

****

Having shot up off the floor as soon as she'd heard what had happened to 'Lena' during the meeting, Kara is now pacing her apartment as sparks of fury pulse through her. 

****

“I'm going to throw him into space and ricochet his body off satellites like a freaking pinball machine! But first I'm going to rip off his hand, and shove it so far up his.....”

****

“Kara, honey-” having gotten to her feet when Kara did, fearful the enraged woman might actually fly all the way to Japan to vent her anger on the man in question, Lena approaches the ranting Super cautiously “-while I appreciate the sentiment, I'm not sure creating an international incident, as well as an inter-species one, would be the best course of action right now”. 

****

Pausing mid stride, Kara stops pacing to look up at the dark haired woman. “He sexually assaulted you, Lena!” 

****

Grimacing at the thought, the CEO decides not to mention that it isn't the first, nor likely to be the last, time a man has thought her body something he can lay his hands on without her consent. “Be that as it may, I'm not going to have Supergirl declare war with the Japanese just because one misogynist idiot never got taught boundaries. Besides, I wasn't present at the time anyway”. 

****

Once again reminded of the body-swap scenario, Kara finds her anger draining as she studies Lena carefully. “You were really in James' body the whole day at Catco?”  

****

“You brought coffee for everyone during the team meeting, even though it was the interns job. You excused yourself halfway through saying your allergies were suddenly playing up, which I now assume meant you heard something that required Supergirl's attention. Then, once the meeting was over you complimented me on my suit and gave me a dazzling smile, before disappearing, once again, with Nia”. 

****

Mouth agape as Lena recalls their interactions that morning, Kara feels the last vestiges of her ire disappear as shock replaces it. “Oh my god, you really did swap bodies!”

****

Lena smiles tentatively. “I guess it says something about how well I know James if you couldn't tell anything was amiss”. 

****

About to say that there had been a moment, if only for a second or two, where she'd caught James gazing at her with a look in his eye that had given her the impression he might be interested in rekindling the almost relationship they'd embarked on several years ago, Kara snaps her mouth shut when she realises that she must have misread the intention behind the look. 

****

Despite her own feelings for the dark haired woman, Kara knows Lena sees her as nothing but a friend, so there is no way the CEO would have been looking at her with the loving gaze Kara had attributed her ex to have been directing her way during the morning meeting, and shakes her head as if to rid it of the silly notion. 

****

Of course, if Lena had been in James' body all day, that means.....

****

“Oh my god, that means  **I** told you my secret!” 

****

Only just putting the pieces together, Kara covers her mouth in horror as she realises that she had been the one to give her own secret away. 

****

Gazing at her in sympathy, seeing how shell-shocked Kara looks that she had been the perpetrator of her own crime, Lena indicates they should move over to the couch. 

****

Sinking down onto it silently, Kara stares at her hands as she wrings them together in her lap anxiously. 

****

“At first, all I could focus on was the fact that you were upset”. Speaking softly, Lena sits on the opposite end of the couch, ensuring she gives Kara plenty of space so as to not feel crowded, as she tries to ease the Superhero's guilt. “Then when you said my name and kept repeating that I knew about your secret, I think I froze”. 

****

Knowing Kara's eyes are on her, Lena is the one that suddenly feels nervous, and she swallows hard as she forces herself to not to fidget under the intense gaze. 

****

“I wanted to tell you I wasn't James, I honestly did. But you were  _ so _ upset, and I had no idea what you were going on about, that I just didn't know if I was going to make matters worse by throwing my whole deal into the mix as well”. Knowing it was selfish of her, Lena's guilt sits hot in her chest as she talks. “Yet, I can't deny I also wanted to learn what your secret was”. 

****

“WHAT? Why?” Staring at like she'd just confessed to liking the Kardashians, Kara gawks at Lena in befuddlement. “I LITERALLY told you it would put your life in danger if you found out!”

****

Lifting her chin defiantly, Lena lets out a bark of humourless laughter as she turns to look at Kara. “Have you forgotten? I'm a Luthor. My life is in danger simply by the nature of my birthright. What I do or don't know about you isn't going to change the fact that there are people in this world that want to kill me. Hell, half of the attempts on my life have been by my own flesh and blood, Kara”. 

****

“That's.....You...It's not the same thing!” Stumbling over her words, Kara is slightly stunned by Lena's cavalier attitude about it. 

“It's exactly the same”. 

****

Scoffing lightly as she is unable to see how Kara can't get that she is danger no matter what, Lena is taken aback when Kara suddenly rounds on her. “NO, IT'S NOT!” 

****

Surprised by the anger that flashes across the placid woman's face for an instant, Lena is more concerned when it crumples in a look of absolute terror, and watches in fascinated horror as Kara then bursts into tears and buries her face into her hands. 

****

Sliding along the couch until her knee is almost touching Kara's, Lena gently places her right arm around the crying woman's shoulders and pulls her into the side of her body. Using her left hand to rub Kara's knee reassuringly, Lena talks softly. “I'm sorry, Kara. I didn't meant to upset you. I was just trying to get you to understand that I realise the dangers involved in knowing your secret, and I fully accept them”. 

****

Sniffling a few times, Kara pulls the sleeve of her pyjama top down over her hand to swipe her eyes and nose, then takes a few deep breaths to try and recentre herself. Keeping her eyes on the ground in front of her, she starts speaking in small, halting, gasps. “Alex has know my secret ever since I came to Earth, and it has almost gotten her killed more times than I can count”. 

****

“Alex works for a Government organisation that deals with apprehending hostile aliens. That's a pretty dangerous line of work, regardless of who her sister is”. 

****

Feeling Lena's hand rub gentle circles on her back, the calming gesture helping to slow her racing heart, Kara grits her teeth together. “Two years ago, Alex got kidnapped”. 

****

“Kidnapped?”

****

The hand on her back stops momentarily as Lena takes a second to process the news, and Kara nods her head guiltily. “I found out...after, that in high school this guy witnessed me using my powers to save some people. So when Supergirl turned up in National City, where I just so happened to live, I guess he put the pieces together and made the logical jump to conclusions”. 

****

“Why did he kidnap Alex?” 

****

Voice soft as she speaks, Lena knows that this must be incredibly difficult for Kara to talk about, and resumes rubbing her back slowly. 

****

“He wanted me to break his dad out of prison”. Remembering the smirk on Rick's face as he'd made his ultimatum, Kara's hands curl into fists. “He'd locked her in a glass case and hidden her so well I couldn't find her anywhere, despite scanning the entire city and listening so hard that I thought I'd blow my powers”. 

****

“That must have been extremely scary”. 

****

“It was....terrifying. Yet, it wasn't even the worst part”. Feeling the truth lodge in her throat, that she'd almost lost her sister because of her own bullheadedness, shame once again claws at Kara's insides. “Because I didn't want to listen to reason; I though I was superior and maybe yeah, had a god-complex, I made the wrong call and set off a booby trap that caused water to start flooding into Alex's cell”. 

****

Hearing the words she'd used against Supergirl in anger come out of Kara's mouth and turned towards inwards, Lena frowns sadly. 

****

“By the time Maggie and I got to her she was unconscious and out of air”. Tears once again streaming down her cheeks, Kara can't stop the sobs that burst out of her chest as she knows that without Alex's survival training they would have been too late. “I still have nightmares where I see her floating in that damned tank. Except in them I can't break the glass and save her, so I'm forced to watch her drown”. 

****

Gently guiding the emotional woman into her body - Lena knows she wouldn't have a hope of actually moving the Kryptonian unless she actually wanted to, she is heartened when she feels Kara sink into her embrace willingly. 

****

Burying her face into the crook of Lena's neck, Kara allows the raven haired woman to slip an arm under her sushi pyjama covered legs and shift her more comfortably onto her lap as she sobs brokenly for the next ten minutes.  

****

 ****

****

“I'm sorry I made you wet”. 

****

Having to bite back a quip that is all too inappropriate for the situation, Lena instead chuckles lightly. “You wouldn't believe how many shirts I've ruined in the lab while on the hunt for the next big breakthrough, so a few tears are hardly going to hurt it”.

****

Loosening the death-grip she has around Lena's neck, Kara pulls back enough so that she can sit up, and uses her right hand to swipe at her cheeks. 

****

“My secret hurts the people I love, Lena, and I....I just don't know what I'd do if something happened to you because of me”. 

****

Feeling tears well in her own eyes, Lena cups Kara's cheek gently and swipes away a stray tear with her thumb. 

****

“Oh Kara, don't you know by now? I'd happily stand in front of a nuclear missile if it meant keeping you safe”. Watching as her words cause more tears to spill from the superhero's eyes, Lena feels her heart ache with everything she feels for this wonderful woman. “You were my first friend in this city, at a time when most people still believed that all Luthor's were the same, and you've saved my life more times than I can ever repay you for”. 

****

“You've repaid me plenty”. Closing her eyes as she places her own hand over the one on her cheek, Kara lets outs a small sigh as she leans into the warmth Lena's palm provides her. “Without you I never would have been able to halt the Daxamite invasion”. 

****

“Which I started in the first place by trusting Rhea so blindly”. Regret fills Lena's voice as she drops her eyes, unable to looks at Kara's adorable visage while the guilt of how much pain she had caused her rises to burn a path through her chest. “And also condemned you to losing Mon-El”. 

****

Opening her eyes to fix bright blue orbs on Lena's face, the watery sheen in them unable to stop her from seeing the self loathing that's started to creep into disbelieving emerald ones, Kara removes the hand from atop Lena's so that she can place it under her chin instead. Not trying to force Lena to look at her, but merely stopping her from looking away any further, Kara holds it in place gently as she speaks. “Rhea played you, Lena, and it was  **my** choice to press that button, not yours. You have nothing to feel guilty about”. 

****

“Because of me Mon-El had to leave the Earth. If I had just found another way....”

****

“Your device saved the Earth from being enslaved, Lena”. 

****

“Then almost killed you when it was stolen and used to irradiate the atmosphere with Kryptonite”. Hand having slipped off Kara's cheek the second it had been released from it's gentle prison under the Kryptonian's own palm, Lena now raises it to land on the one currently holding her chin, and squeezes plaintively as she looks up at Kara with beseeching eyes. “I'm so sorry, Kara. I should have smashed that damned thing the second the Daxamites left”. 

****

Breath catching in her chest at the amount of pain she can see swirling in Lena's eyes, pain at the idea that she herself is responsible for Kara's plight during that time, the blonde woman feels her heart ache for how much she wants to stop this strong, yet oh so fragile, woman from taking the weight of the world onto her shoulders. 

****

“Lena, if it hadn't been for you building that suit, I would have died”. Slipping her hand from Lena's chin to her cheek, Kara cups it gently in a reversal of their earlier positions. “At a time when you and I, or you and Supergirl, were on shaky ground, you somehow still managed to have a fully functional, radiation controlled proto-environment housed in a vacuum sealed exoskeleton when I needed it most”. 

****

“After our argument about me making green Kryptonite, I couldn't get the conversation out of my head”. Heart thumping wildly at the feel of Kara's hand on her skin, Lena swallows thickly. “The way Supergirl had described how it feels; like the flesh being seared from your bones and nails running through your blood, it didn't resonate with me completely, at first, because I was too angry. But it all changed after seeing the lengths she – you, went to in order to try and stop The Worldkillers”. 

****

The image of Supergirl laying in a crater, unconscious and bleeding after her being dropped off the side of a building by Reign, as a bystander asks if she is dead, is a moment Lena will never forget. 

****

“At the time I had thought you so childish for being scared of Kryptonite, and even taunted you for it, because I believed you to be fearful in the face of your only flaw. Yet, watching you go up against Sam, or the thing that had possessed her, I saw first-hand that there were many more things in this world than just Kryptonite that could kill you”. Lena's voice is thick as she talks, the terror she had felt as she'd stood next to James and watched the battle between the two rage, and the way Supergirl had fought so valiantly, painted starkly in her memory and constricting her throat with tears. “I watched you face Reign fearlessly, even when it was clear she was far more powerful than you were, and in that instant I realised that you weren't afraid to face  **anything** you weren't immune to, even if it meant sacrificing your own life in the process”. 

****

Tears are steaming down both their faces, the raw emotion they are unleashing now that all the barriers have been stripped away by the reveal of Kara's secret allowing them both to be more honest then either has been before, and it is a cathartic release they have desperately needed.

****

“I realised I was wrong to doubt Supergirl the way I did, so the second Alex told me she was okay I got to work on making the suit, because I never wanted her to experience the feeling of Kryptonite poisoning ever again”. 

****

Wrapping her arms around Lena's shoulders once more, Kara pulls the woman beneath her into a fierce hug. 

****

Hugging her back, Lena allows herself to put all the strength she never before dared show Kara, for fear of overwhelming the diminutive woman and hurting her, she feels into the embrace. 

****

“”You are a wonderful woman Lena, with the kindest soul I've ever met”. 

****

Feeling the words as they're spoken into her neck, a shiver runs downs Lena's spine as Kara's hot breath ghosts its way across her sensitive skin. Her heart skips in her chest when Kara's right hand shifts from its position cradling her shoulder to cup her head tenderly, then begins jack-hammering when strong yet gentle fingers begin combing through the loose strands. “Lying to you has plagued me every day. From the moment I woke up, to the moment I fell asleep; and even followed me into my dreams”. 

****

The heavy sigh Kara gives is felt deep within Lena's chest as the two are pressed so close together, and the dark haired woman's arms tighten instinctively with the urge to protect her. “It's okay”. 

****

Shaking her head minutely, not wanting to jostle Lena but needing to make clear that she isn't letting herself off the hook so easily even if Lena is, Kara's voice is firm. “No, it  _ isn't _ okay. I lied to you with every conversation, yet I got mad when I thought you'd withheld information about Kryptonite. I let my fears overrule my heart, and it brought out the worst in me. I've been a terrible friend to you, Lena, and I understand if you can't see me in the same light after this. I understand if you hate me for it”. 

****

Hearing Kara's voice break on the last sentence may just be the worst thing Lena has ever heard, as the sound of it squeezes her heart in a vice so tight that it fails to beat for several long seconds, and just when she is sure she is about to die from the pain of it, a shuddery gasp of inhalation from the woman on her lap draws Lena's attention away from her own reaction. 

****

Feeling the normally sure and solid Superhero shaking like a leaf in her arms is all evidence the savvy businesswoman needs to focus her energy on the crippling anxiety her best friend is clearly  experiencing, and Lena finds herself speaking before she registers what she is saying. “Of course I don't hate you, Kara, I love you!”

****

The moment the words are out both women freeze. 

****

After a few seconds, Kara pulls back so that she can look Lena in the eye, an expression of total shock and confusion on her face. “Wha....what?” 

****

“I...um....I said I love you-” with an almost matching look of shock painted on her face, Lena knows that, given Kara's bat like hearing, there is no way she didn't hear her blurted declaration of affection; and her mind scrabbles frantically to try and find to explain her slip up “-be....because you're my best friend, and I love you like my.....my friend”.

****

Frowning at the stuttered explanation, and the feeling of disappointment that lodges in her gut, Kara  can't help it when her eyes flick down to Lena's mouth for a moment. 

****

Having leaned back in order to see her face, the blonde finds herself mere inches away from the full, luscious lips that have starred in so many of her dreams. Swallowing heavily as her mouth goes suddenly dry, Kara can't help imagining what it would be like to press forward and place her own against them. Squeezing her eyes shut against the image, Kara has to bite back the moan that wants to escape her at how amazing she knows Lena will taste, but can't help the heat that runs through her body in response. 

****

“Are you okay?”

****

Eyes pinging open as guilt and embarrassment suffuse her, Kara sees Lena gazing at her with concern. “Ye...yeah. I'm fine”. 

****

“Did I say something wrong?”

****

Shifting slightly, trying to ignore the heat that seems to have condensed into a certain area of her anatomy, Kara chuckles awkwardly. “No, not at all. I was just thinking I should move from your lap as I'm probably squashing you”.  

****

“For a Super, you're surprisingly light”. Fingers curling into Kara's pyjama's as if she can physically stop the stronger woman from moving, Lena feels her heart lurch at the idea of Kara putting distance between them. “I don't mind you staying where you are if you don't”. 

****

“As long as I'm not hurting you”. The weight in her words isn't lost on Lena, nor is the sombre look that clouds her eyes, as Kara once again feels like she is laying an anchor around her best friend's neck with the truth about who she really is. 

****

“You've proved, countless times, that I can trust you with my life-” voice soft as she talks, Lena knows she needs to pull Kara about of her downward spiral before it can consume her “-but I want you to know that I trust you with my heart too”. 

****

The crease in Kara's brow, the one that Lena had once heard Alex refer to as her 'anxiety crinkle', appears, as stormy blue eyes search her own in confusion. “Your....your heart?” 

****

Taking a deep breath, Lena nods slowly. 

****

She knows that the next few minutes will involve her risking everything; but in the spirit of revealing ALL their secrets and, with the glimmer of hope that when she'd said she loved Kara like a friend she'd seen a flicker of disappoint cross her face, Lena prays that she won't end up completely broken by it. 

****

She could have sworn that Kara had looked at her lips with hunger in her eyes, as if she wanted to devour her like a tasty morsel, if only for a second before she'd closed her eyes, and the thought has been driving her crazy ever since. 

****

“What I said before, about loving you as a friend, that was true”. Rubbing her thumb along the waistband to Kara's pyjama's nervously, Lena fidgets with the material to try and ground herself as her emotions soar within her chest. “But it wasn't the whole truth”. 

****

The weight of her own secret feels heavier than keeping any Superhero's identity from the world, and Lena is a thousand times more nervous to reveal it. However, she knows that they can't continue as they are with this between them, as it will only grow and fester within her if she doesn't acknowledge it out loud, so she screws up the last of her courage and finally admits what she has denied to herself for so long.

****

“I'm in love with you, Kara. Completely and irrevocably. Which I know may seem ridiculous given that I have the worst track record with love ever, but I want to reassure you that I seek nothing from you with my declaration. My love is unconditional. I know you don't like me that way, and I've made my peace with it. I just felt the need to tell you because I didn't want there to be any more secrets between us”. 

****

Confessing everything in a torrent of words, Lena rushes to get everything out before her nerve fails her and she bottles it up for another two years but, finding herself unable to meet Kara's eyes as a taut silence falls between them, she drops her own to stare at the hand resting on Kara's waist instead. 

****

Feeling the intense blue eyes she so dearly loves boring into her, Lena wants nothing more than the ability to be able to read minds right now, because not knowing what Kara is thinking is excruciating. 

****

Did she just ruin their friendship completely, or is there a way to work around it? Lena knows that Winn had attempted to kiss Kara once; something that had made her equal parts aggrieved and jealous when she'd heard about it during games night one evening, but their continued friendship shows her that it is possible her confession might not have to change things between herself and Kara. 

****

If only the woman in question would say something.

****

“You.....You love me?”

****

Heart sinking at the amount of disbelief that is evident in her voice, Lena forces herself to look up at Kara. “I do”. 

****

“ **You** .....love  _ me _ ?” 

****

Brows pulled so close together that had she been wearing her glasses it would have caused them to fall off the end of her nose, Kara looks thoroughly confused as she stares at Lena. 

****

“How can that be? I don't...-” steeling herself for the rejection that is about to come, Lena begins lowering her eyes so that she's not looking directly at Kara when she tells her she doesn't feel the same way “-understand.  **I'm** the one that's in love with  _ you _ ”.

****

Eyes returning to Kara's so fast she may actually have given herself whiplash, Lena stares at the blonde in shock as she seeks confirmation of the words she fears she may have just hallucinated hearing. “What did you just say?”

****

“Oh Lena, I've been mesmerized by you since the first time we met”.

****

Lifting up and rearranging herself so she is now straddling the woman below her, Kara leans in close and cups Lena's face gently between her hands. Gazing deeply into transfixed viridian orbs, she smiles sweetly as her thumbs stroke across the soft skin of her cheeks. 

****

“You have the biggest heart of anyone I've ever known, and although it's taken a battering from the careless people that you were forced to live with growing up, it's never stopped shining. I know you don't see it, but there is a light in you that shines so bright it is almost blinding. It shows in everything you do to help others; the children's hospital, your work to try and cure cancer, and your  willingness to help Supergirl and the DEO, despite the risks to yourself. Your glow is brighter than the sun, and rejuvenates me a thousand times more powerfully”. 

****

Knowing just how essential the Earth's yellow sun is to the health of a Kryptonian, having been forced, quite literally, to sit through many of Lex's psychotic rants about it, Lena can't help the tear that escapes at Kara's beautiful words.  

****

“I lived in fear every day of you finding out my secret, that I was Supergirl, but I was hiding a far greater one behind it”. With a shaky smile, Kara pauses for a moment and takes a breath, before continuing. “That I had fallen head over heels in love with my brilliant, talented, billionaire, kinda my boss, best friend; who is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen on this or any planet, but who is also so far out of my league that I could spend my entire life saving the planet and never measure up to even one tenth the person she deserves to be with”.  

****

“Kara.....”

****

Blown away by her words, Lena has no idea what to say. Never in a million years did she expect Kara to return her feelings, and had prepared herself for rejection. Gentle and kind rejection, because it's Kara, but rejection all the same.

****

“But-” cheeky smile creeping onto her face now, the stunned look on Lena's building her confidence massively, Kara gazes lovingly at the gorgeous woman she's longed to say these words to for so long “-if you'll let me, I'm willing to spend a lifetime trying to be that person for you”. 

****

Heart feeling like it's about to thump its way out of her chest, Lena does the only thing she can do right now, and closes the distance between them. 

****

Grabbing fistfuls of Kara's top in her hands, and aware that she lifts herself rather than brings the immovable woman down to her, Lena uses the leverage to bring herself close enough to connect their lips. 

****

Eyes snapping shut the second they touch, because they are softer than she could ever have ever imagined and the sensation sends fireworks racing throughout her body, Lena lets out a low moan when she feels strong hands glide up her back to hold her firmly in place. Confident she no longer has to hold herself in place, Lena releases her death grip on Kara's shirt and moves her hands to tangle in golden locks. 

****

Deepening the kiss as she puts everything she is unable to express into it, Lena feels a thrill rush through her when Kara responds in kind. 

****

Making out passionately for several minutes, exploring the bold new step they've just taken in their relationship, Lena is lost to everything but her senses as the knowledge that Kara feels the same way is almost more than she can handle, so she is caught completely by surprise when she feels a hand caress the bare skin of her lower back. Letting out a gasp as the sensation send sparks of pure pleasure shooting throughout her entire body and cause her fingers to instinctively tighten in Kara's hair, Lena breaks the kiss to try and regain some control of her rapidly spiralling libido. 

****

“Oh my god, Kara....!!” Panting for breath as the undeterred blonde on top of her simply shifts her focus to lavishing Lena's neck with attention, the normally put together businesswoman lets out a long moan as the Super finds a particularly sensitive spot just behind her ear. 

****

Feeling her resolving slipping under the strength of desire pounding through her body, and the hand she can feel inching it's way further under her shirt, Lena almost gives into the moment. Having wanted to be with Kara for so long she almost forgets own promise, but luckily Kara reminds her. 

****

“You're mine, Lena-” growling low in her throat, the Super sounds so unlike the normally light and bubbly woman that she is used to that it surprises Lena for a moment, but the possessive quality in it sends a thrill through her “-and I'm yours, forever”. 

****

Hearing the words manage to snap Lena out of her arousal induced fog, despite sending her pulse into the stratosphere at how sexy Kara's voice sounded while saying them, and she reluctantly places her hands on the ones currently trying to explore her body.  

****

Feeling Kara still instantly, Lena smiles softly. 

****

Even lost to desire, her gentle Super will always respect her boundaries, and it makes her love for Kara grow even more. “As much as I would love to let your amazing hands continue creating the incredible feelings they are making, I want our first time to be more that a mess of spilt secrets and tears cried into shoulders”. 

****

Leaning back to put a little distance between them, so that she can try and regain some equilibrium - and stop herself from once again ravaging the gorgeous visage that is Lena with kiss swollen lips and mussed hair, Kara gazes at the woman beneath her with a cheeky look. “Who said you were getting past first base tonight, Luthor?” 

****

“Oh...well I...” Stammering as she realises how presumptuous she's just been, Lena flushes bright red. 

****

“I'm only kidding, sweetie”. Chuckling at the reaction, Kara can't help dropping a soft kiss onto Lena lips to interrupt her, and when she pulls back she is satisfied to see she has stopped the babbling. Giving her a flirty wink, Kara purrs playfully. “Have you SEEN you? You were  **_totally_ ** about to hit a home run”.   

****

Bursting out laughing at the look of devilish delight on Kara's face, Lena feels all her worries dissipate, and her heart swells with pure love for the amazing woman she is lucky enough to now know returns her affections. 

****

“Well, be that as it may, I am not the kind of woman to give up the goods so easily. You're going to have to work a little harder before you get to unwrap your present”.  Lifting her eyebrow teasingly, Lena is delighted to see Kara's eyes darken and her throat bob as she swallows heavily. “So, tomorrow night, you are going to dress up nice and then pick me up. Because we are going to go out on our first, official, date”. 

****

“A...a date?” 

****

Stuttering adorably, Kara is slightly stunned by the image conjured up by Lena's flirtatious words. Having trouble thinking properly due to the fact that she is fighting her once again raging hormones, all she can picture right now is peeling the gorgeous woman out of her clothes and discovering all the 'goodies' within. 

****

“Yes, a date”. Smiling at the dazed expression on the blonde's face, Lena giggles as she cups Kara's cheek tenderly. “I want to take my girlfriend out to dinner so I can stare at her beautiful face while she inhales her food faster than the speed of light, and play footsie under the table while she steals my dessert”. 

****

“Hey, I don't always steal it!” Snapped out of her daze, Kara flushes at being described as a food hog. “You offer it to me most of the tim....did you just call me your girlfriend?”

****

Seeing the stunned look return to Kara's face, Lena smiles softly. “You caught that bit huh?”

****

“Are... are you sure?” The crinkle makes a reappearance as Kara frowns. “I want you to know that you can take as much time as you need, to be sure that I'm truly who you want to be with, because  honestly Lena, it's not going to be all kittens and puppies dating a Super. Lois can tell you that”.

****

“Lois? As is Lois Lane?” 

****

Eyes widening as she sees the moment Lena makes the connection, Kara slaps her hands over her face and groans in frustrated disappointment at herself. Dragging her hands down just enough to peek at Lena over her fingertips, Kara's words are muffled against her palms when she speaks. “Sooooo, that wasn't  _ quite _ how I planned to tell you who Superman was, but yeah”. 

****

Placing her hands over Kara's forearms and pulling gently to remove the embarrassed girls fingers from covering up her blushing face, Lena leans up and places a chaste kiss on the newly revealed lips. “All that matters is that you told me. No more secrets”.   

****

Grateful that she has taken the news well, Kara focuses back on what she was saying before the slip up. “Seriously though, Lena, it's something you need to think about. You had feelings for Kara Danvers, not Supergirl, and in reality I'm Kara Zor-El; which is way more complicated than either on their own. We are going to face days that will be hard, because I never know what I may face when I fly out to a situation, or if that will be the day I never return home”. 

****

Feeling herself get emotion as she remembers all the times she'd had to prepare herself to never see Alex again, Kara finds tears welling up in her eyes at the thought of doing the same with Lena. 

****

“So if you need to take some time to think about whether you can face that life of uncertainty or not, then I am willing to wait for you. Just know that my feelings for you will never change. You are all I want, Lena. In this life and any other”. 

****

“Oh my darling-” once again cradling soft cheeks between her palms, Lena feels her heart almost burst with love as she gazes at the emotional woman straddling her “-you've been in my head since the moment I met you, my heart since the day I got to know you, and I honestly don't want to picture my life without you in it no matter whether those days are good or bad. I don't need another  _ second _ to think about it, Kara Zor- El. I love  **all** of you, and I'm yours until the end of time”. 

****

Bursting into loud, happy tears at that, Kara leans down and kisses Lena in a messy show of delighted exuberance, but the laughter that bubbles out of her chest at the relief she feels tickles across their lips and forces the pair to break apart after a few short seconds. 

****

Resting their foreheads together as they wrap their arms around each others waists, the pair bask in the feel of being close. 

****

“Remind me to thank James for being so worried about people finding out he was a woman for a day that he risked our friendship rather than telling me the truth”.

****

Whispering softly as her body practically hums with contentment at how amazing it is to have the woman she loves finally in her embrace, Kara finds herself smiling as she pictures her next encounter with James.

****

“Because I'm pretty sure he won't find it so heartfelt AFTER I drop him off the roof of Catco as penance for allowing someone to touch your body without consent”. 

****  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo, this one took a bit longer but I'm hoping it was worth the wait. 
> 
>  
> 
> Was it a worthy final chapter? 
> 
>  
> 
> Let me know. FEED THE BEAST!!

**Author's Note:**

> So, this was an idea that entered my head and wouldn't leave, which meant I had to pop my A03 cherry and write it. 
> 
> I live for reviews and I already have chapter 2 written (which includes the reveal) so if I get told its worth posting I will. 
> 
> Let me know huh.


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